Lunar New Year in a Pandemic by Debbie Lum from Denville Mathnasium
These are my thoughts as a first generation Asian American born in NYC to loving immigrant parents from Hong Kong and China. Traditions can vary from province to province, country to country, family to family but the one thing we can all agree on is that it is the Year of The Ox, 4719 and this year’s celebration is quite different.
What I’m missing the most this Lunar New Year is Family, the central tenet of New Year is being together, strengthening the family bond, giving wishes of health, happiness and wealth to our family and close friends. Yes, the Dragon and Lion Dances are awesome and the firecrackers to scare off lingering bad luck from the prior year are awesome (it would have been some show this year, right?) but not being with your kin dampens the excitement quite a bit.
I miss the big family Closing the Year dinner and the even bigger Opening the New Year Banquet. I miss giving red envelopes to my nieces and nephews and unmarried younger siblings with two hands. Two hands always when handing out red envelopes. I miss saying “Goong Hey Fat Choy!” loud and smiling with warmth in my heart and face. I miss my mom. I miss the banquets. I really miss the red envelopes.
There are rules to the red envelopes at New Year. Only married people can give out envelopes. Business Owners can hand out to their employees. As a married person, you can give envelopes to any child but the amount varies depending on closeness. Parents can always give envelopes to their children, married or not. My mom refuses to accept a red envelope from me but I can sneak one into a New Year bag of homemade goodies which should include oranges and/or apples. Red envelopes contain money, not gift certificates or coupons or erasers. I told my mother about businesses giving red envelopes to customers containing discounts or deals and she was appalled. She asked if people in town thought they were goody bags and then with a look of horror, she asked if I would be following suit. To me, it’s cultural appropriation but as a business owner, I understand the marketing side to this. I can’t with good conscience put anything but money in the envelopes. Red envelopes are for spreading prosperity. So my mom’s teachings will always stay with me and I will pass these values onto my children. Students who came into Mathnasium received money because that’s what they’re for.
This year, some of my relatives are getting their money via a red envelope emoji. It’s still money but the warmth is gone. Speaking of which – is it snowing again????
Happy Year of the Ox to All!
